My good friend Sandy and I had a very interesting conversation while our babes played at the park the other day that I haven’t been able to forget. I think I’ve been told since I was born perhaps that “God will not give us more than we can handle”. This just isn’t true. The scripture given usually to back up this idea is 1 Corinthians 10.13, which says this:
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
This doesn’t say that He won’t give us more than we can handle, it says he won’t tempt us beyond what we can bear. Not being able to bear something sounds an awful lot like I won’t be able to handle it. God does this so that we will reach for him and trust that he will take care of us in the long scheme of things. He’ll take care of us, but it might not be just as I would have him to.
I haven’t posted in quite some time really because I honestly don’t know what to say.
Here are the circumstances our family is surrounded by. We moved into this apartment just under a year ago, knowing it would be short term, because the apartment is rented out by the department Len works in for the hospital to medical students and residents. They had an extra apartment last year and the hope was that they would this year as well, so that we could then work towards other things. Well, we took the year and had Moriah and grew a lot closer together as a family, but so far had been unable to really work toward other things. We just really hoped that we’d be able to stay another year.
In early April we decided that we’d love to buy our own home. After weighing our options on our very limited budget, we decided to pursue putting in a double wide for the time being on a five acre parcel of land next to Len’s mother that has been vacant and in the family for years and years. So, we went double wide shopping, which is a lot of fun, but stressful. We chose a layout and started to figure out all of the things we would need to do to make it happen (cement slap, cement skirting wall, municipal water, septic tank, gas hookups, electric hookups, etc). Our goal was to have the house in by fall.
We were basically in the middle of figuring out just how much we needed to ask for in a mortgage, when Len was told we were going to need to move because they needed our apartment to house residents. They gave us six to eight to weeks. WOW, what a stressor! We need to start moving a bit faster, right?
Ok, so I called the home place and was told that if we rushed things a bit we could most likely get everything done in six weeks. So we went from there, basically figuring on it taking ten weeks, because things always take longer than expected. So we’ll put our stuff in our friend’s garage, the kids and I will go stay with my parents, and Len will float from house to house (of church families and other friends and relatives) until everything is finished. Adding more and more stress, but this is still doable, right?
The next step: getting the land put into Len’s name so we have it as collateral. So Len and my dear mother-in-law, Lois, go down to the county land records. We were told by several people who have done this in the past that all we would need to do is sign a deed transfer and perhaps pay a small fee and everything would be fine. Sounds like a piece of cake, right? This should be the easy part….WRONG! In Jefferson County/the state of New York, you can’t give a piece of land (that you totally own free and clear) away without all sorts of paperwork. Oh yes, and all this paperwork COSTS major money. Nobody we’ve talked to seems to think that this should be the case, but of course the woman at the land records office is neither helpful or friendly. Her answer when asked questions: “ask your lawyer.” Now, maybe she has her own personal lawyer, but the average joe family just doesn’t have their own lawyer. UGH! Now we’re at a roadblock! SO when you add in the cost of FILING the paperwork(as much as $300), perhaps a LAWYER and the $400 water APPLICATION fee. Oh yes the water fee is only for them to say yes or no to us hooking into the water that goes right in front of the land, not to run the boar under the road and actually hook it up our home. This is totally and utterly ridiculous! With all of these fees we will be spending money before we even know for sure that we can get the mortgage! If we can’t get the mortgage, then we’ve spent all the money we have in savings and forced to find an apartment with no money for a security deposit. So…we digress and decide we’d better just find another apartment for now.
So we begin to look for an affordable apartment that will meet our needs as a growing family. An apartment that will fit us, Len and Diana, our children, Elijah (23 months) and Moriah (3 months) and Len’s desk where he does much of his work for the church. We could get by with a two bedroom, as long as there is enough room in the master bedroom for his office. Also, as a cloth diapering, cloth napkin, going green Mama, I’d really like Washer/Dryer hookups since we only have one car and not only does Len need that to go to work every day, but taking two kids to the laundry mat every few days just isn’t gonna work. So we look, and look. We continue to search through Craigslist, the classifieds, pennysaver, and drive up and down streets looking for “FOR RENT” signs. At this point I’ve called on a total of 27 apartments and only one of them sounds like it might work…thats a MIGHT! I’m so frustrated right now, I feel like I could cry and believe me, I have cried!
The problem is this: because Ft. Drum is right here, the price of rent has sky rocketed for this area. Landlords are asking seriously outrageous prices to rent things up here. I don’t blame the military at all, the soldiers are given a certain amount (BAH, I believe) and landlords are taking it all, even though its supposed to cover both rent and utilities. This is how a conversation went for an apartment I called on this week.
(Phone rings for about 4 rings)
“Hello.”
“Hi, I’m calling about the add on Craigslist for a two bedroom apartment on Holcomb St.”
“Yes, what would you like to know?”
“How big is it?”
“Its around 800 square feet with an outside entrance. There are three other apartments in the house.”
“Is there any kind of yard?”
“A very small yard that all the tennant in the house share. There is parking for one car”
“Ok, how big are the bedrooms?”
“I’m not sure of the square footage of them, but the master bedroom will fit a queen size bed and a dresser, and the second bedroom is big enough for a bed.”
“Hmm…Are there washer/dryer hookups?”
“No, but there are several laundromats in the area.”
“Is there smoking allowed in the building?”
“Yes.”
“How much are you asking?”
“$900 a month plus one month’s security. Oh yes and we do not allow dogs, but if you have a cat is an additional $200 non-refundable deposit.”
“Ok and what does that include?”
“Water, sewer, lawn care and snow removal and the tenant needs to pay garbage pickup, and utilities, which is all electric runs around $200 a month as long as you’re careful.”
“Ok, thanks for your time.”
Ok, so the landlord wants a dollar per square foot of this apartment and another additional $100 to get rid of snow in the winter and mow a tiny patch of grass in the summer. I don’t have pets, but if I wanted a cat (which I don’t!), I pay another $200 when I could clean the carpets before I left and be just fine, but others can smoke in the building and not only pollute our families lungs, but discolor all of the walls, but there is not a non-refundable deposit for that! Oh yes, and I’m not a moron. I understand that there are laundromats in the area! UGH! There have man several other conversations like this one. Moving on…
All this to say: I’m not sure at this point what we’re gonna do. Its more than I can handle. Its more than Len can handle. So…we’re trusting God, that he’s going to show us something soon.
